Online dating can be incredibly frustrating. The app gives you a positive feeling at first, making you think you can just be yourself and good match will happen in no time. You get so excited, and then nothing happens. How disappointing. Many people can relate.
Actually, this is just the first step towards knowing how to make the app work for you. Now that you're used to nobody messaging you, you've learned that you need to give them a reason to match and message you. This leads to an increase in confidence that will boost your success on dating sites in general.
You've probably heard vague advice like this before -- but did you know there are actionable tips? Apply these to online dating and real life, and you'll get more attention than you know what to do with.
The short answer is this: be a decent human being who's using an online dating site to have genuine interactions.
Oh, and have a certain kind of profile picture and dating profile, which we'll teach you how to make.
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There's a few reasons why OkCupid doesn't work for guys, and once you learn them you'll have a much different attitude towards online dating sites. Let's get right into it.
Every dating site has its fair share of bots, spam accounts, and scammers, but OkCupid has a reputation for artificial likes. Log onto OkCupid for the first time, and you'll see several likes pop up within a day. Makes you feel like a rock star, doesn't it?
Unfortunately, you're not likely to get a response from them when you send the first message.
So, remember that ego boost you felt when you got those likes? Attractive women eager to get a message from you? Distrust that feeling. Even if the likes were genuine, it would be too easy. You're not challenged or called upon to impress somebody. You will have to put that effort in with everyone you meet through a dating website, as well as in the real world.
Almost every dating app is made up of 75% men and 25% women, give or take. This creates an environment where any guy is happy to get any response at all, while a woman's inbox is flooded with low-effort messages that all read exactly the same.
You have to get used to not being special. Or rather, you're not special just because you're there. You're special because of what you do and how you behave.
When you get no matches, it's nothing personal. Once you understand that, you accept that matches are very rare, and you make the most out of them.
A specific kind of profile picture will intrigue most women -- and it'll also impress the online dating algorithm. That's right, the website can detect what kind of picture you have and make you more or less visible. Above all, you should put more than one picture and have a friendly smile in almost all of them. Avoid group pics with your guy friends, and don't appear too close or too far in any of the pictures.
Don't overthink the bio or first message. Just like in real life, you'd be amazed at how little effort you need to impress most women -- but the effort has to count. Come up with a brief bio that's free of spelling mistakes and tries to draw the other person in.
When sending a message, avoid one-word greetings like "Hey" at all costs! There are many kinds of openers, like funny ones, witty ones, and polite ones. Basically, commenting on something in their profile is one of the best ways. Put some thought into it but not too much.
Small aside. Did you know it is possible to make your profile more attractive in 2 minutes and get more matches every day?
Thanks to our AI trained on 10,000+ pictures rated by hot guys and girls, you will be able to access personalized feedback and tips to boost your dating profile for good.
You will know exactly which pictures are good or not, and most importantly why.
So, what are you waiting for to take charge of your dating life?
ROAST can help you understand WHY and HOW to fix it.
With its question system, OkCupid is a great online dating platform for those looking for a serious relationship. It matches you up with women who have the same values and priorities.
With its high emphasis on shared values, OkCupid users are a bit more serious in their expectations. This isn't to say you should be serious in your dating profile -- but you should take it seriously. There's a key difference. Most women will be able to see it if you're being authentic, and your online dating life will improve as a result.
Before you get to that stage, though, be patient. Dating sites like OkCupid can see when you're desperate and they'll lower your visibility accordingly, so resist the temptation to swipe right on everyone. Set up your profile like you're about to match with someone special, and treat everyone you talk to with politeness.
You might not see an immediate return, but once you've gotten into the habit of doing this, you'll forget you were ever miserable while dating online. All the messages will eventually turn into some special real life meetings; all you had to do was message girls with the right profile and not send the wrong message.
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Dating websites mostly work the same way: send messages to get a positive response. That's all internet dating is, really. Making people happy and comfortable.
You might see a woman's profile and imagine the first and second dates -- stop that. Just focus on simply getting a positive response. That's how it starts, whether on a dating website or the real world.
If you need a bit more personalized advice on your dating profile, and you want someone who's more qualified than a random guy friend, get in touch with ROAST. ROAST has studied dating sites and how they work so they can help you build the right kind of profile. After their personalized help, you won't be able to keep track of how many women you've matched with! Start by taking their quiz.
Before you leave, how about knowing how strong your dating profile is?
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Ben is one of the best Tinder Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of Tinder. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 12M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!