When you first start talking to a girl, everything is new and many things can seem unclear. Should you text her first? If you do, how often should you text her? You don’t want to overwhelm and text her too much, but you also don’t want to let the conversation dry out and have her forget about you.
Once you know she's interested, you'll want to follow a few texting rules that will ensure she doesn't lose interest in you. Finding the perfect balance in texting a girl is critical to getting to know her better and increasing your chances of getting a date.
Here is the ultimate guide on how often you should text a girl.
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You’ve finally got yourself a girl’s phone number off of a dating app like Tinder and you’re excited to text her, but you don’t want to appear too desperate. So, how long should you wait to text her?
While there is no hard and fast rule to how often you should text a girl in the dating world, there are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to your texting habits. Once you get her phone number, you don’t have to wait to text her.
Most guys make the mistake of thinking they have to wait at least a day or a few hours before sending that first text message. Guys typically think they'll look desperate if they start texting a girl after getting her number, but it's totally fine to send the first text sooner.
If you wait to text her, you risk waiting too long to the point where she forgets about you, loses interest, or meets someone new who took the initiative to text her. Many women love a man who is confident in himself, and doesn't think too much about when the right time is to send messages.
Instead of waiting a few hours, text her once you get her phone number, and wait until she replies to make your next move. This will show her you’re genuinely interested in her, are thinking about her, and are confident enough to make the first move without having to play the waiting game.
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After you’ve sent the first text and she’s replied, you’ve officially started the conversation over text. Congratulations! Now, it’s important you keep things running smoothly and don’t over text her phone but also aren’t leaving her on read either.
Don’t wait too long to reply to her — we recommend texting within 24 hours after each text to keep her interested, and to show her you like her but aren’t clingy or desperate. If she’s taking a while to respond, be patient and keep it cool. Don’t be the guy that's sending multiple messages, as this will leave you looking clingy and way too into her.
You won't be able to arrange an in person meeting if you come off as clingy or desperate, so keep this in mind when texting girls.
When you’ve planned out your first date with a girl, you don’t want to bombard her with texts every day leading up to the date. Keep things casual by texting occasionally leading up to the date. If you set up a date on Saturday, you can wait to text her until Friday, and also send her a text on Saturday so she knows the date is still on.
You can stop texting in the days leading up to the date to keep the girl interested, as long as you communicate effectively and she knows you're still going on a date.
On the other hand, if you don’t want to stop texting, you can send her a text before that and gauge her response—if she’s into the conversation, you can talk regularly and keep the conversation flowing. Open and honest communication is essential to establishing a genuine relationship, so don't be afraid to send a good night or good morning text.
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After the first date, make sure to text her within the 24-hour period to tell her you had a great time on the date. If it went well and you want to organize another one—let her know! When you get the sense she wants to go on another date too, you can slowly start to organize one and text regularly, depending on how the conversation is going.
If you're wondering what to text after the first date, be honest and let her know you had an amazing time with her and want to see her again. This way, you'll know if she's interested in you in real life.
It’s a tricky situation to be in when you’re talking to a girl you like and things are seemingly going well, only to have her not reply to your texts. While you may be tempted to text her again or to give her a call, don’t. Wait a few days to see if she responds. If after a week she hasn’t replied, you can try to text her for a last-ditch effort, but shouldn’t expect a reply at that point.
If you send too many messages, you'll be going against texting etiquette 101 and will make her more likely to stop texting you. It's a huge turn off for girls in the early stages of a text relationship who find the guy is texting way too often and is emotionally attached.
In rare cases, emergencies happen and she may be glad that you texted her again. Maybe she's busy, or something else has come up. If she’s not responding at all, don’t take it too personally. It's common in modern relationships for text conversations to die out and to get ghosted. It happens to everyone, so let your personality shine with someone new, and learn from your previous conversations when texting girls.
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By following these texting rules, you'll be able to keep a girl interested in you and may even land yourself a long term relationship with your perfect partner.
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Ben is one of the best Tinder Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of Tinder. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 12M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!