Why POF Isn't Working For Some Guys (Clearly Explained)

You've probably gone on Tinder and thought to yourself, "I know exactly what to message this girl to intrigue her." Maybe you saw her repping a band you like, or she's hiked the same mountain. You have so much in common! You're more natural when you're able to just send a message, anyway -- like approaching someone at a bar in real life. So you chose POF dating app to keep these beautiful women from slipping through your grasp ever again.

Sorry to say, but you've got it all wrong. You're doing all the work for her. She needs to see your profile and she needs to be intrigued.

So... it all comes back to the profile. You must have an excellent POF profile, and there's no getting around that. POF messages won't help you. The reason why POF doesn't work for guys a lot of the time is they haven't made their profile the best it can be.

Oh, and if you're considering paying for premium features, or going on a paid site, forget it. Paid features have nothing to do with success on a dating site, nothing at all.

The first thing that others see on dating sites is also the most important. Poor profile picture decreases the number of matches and likes you get. Who knew, right? Be smarter about your profile pictures and you'll be getting more messages before you know it.

If you've got low self-esteem and you're ready to click out right now, just wait. It isn't about how objectively attractive you are. Everyone likes seeing someone with a genuine smile on their face -- so that's all you need to show on your profile.

Chances are, you have fun at least sometimes. You know what it's like. Have someone capture you in that sort of moment, and you're good to go.

On dating sites, your profile pictures should:

1. Include more than one picture.

2. Show you smiling in a friendly way -- not seductive or mysterious.

3. Keep group photos to a minimum. One is already too much, some say.

4. Show you neither too far nor too close.

The more common-sense advice also holds: try to dress well and have a passable haircut/shave. With dating, every step of the way is about showing effort -- not having the best body in the world.

On dating sites, the bio matters more than you think. It immediately gives an impression and communicates way more about you than you can possibly imagine. Put some thought into it, but not too much!

First off, ask yourself if it should be funny, witty, serious, or friendly. Think of what people like about you, and try to put that in a sentence that you don't need any context to understand. Avoid spelling errors and crass/sexual content. You might be planning out the entire first seven dates in your head, but the spark happens with a brief, positive, and friendly interaction, simple as that.

People think that simply because they put some thought into a first message, they've sent the absolute best message they ever could have. Wrong. It's more about having the right strategy.

When sending messages on POF and other dating apps, you should be aiming to get a response and continue talking. Think of a message that will bait her into answering. Something to the effect of, "you know what I like about your profile?" Just make sure you have a good follow-up!

There are other approaches you can take, like cheesy pickup lines and the like. Commenting on something in her profile is a good idea, too. If you've thought of something really good, don't hesitate to send the same message to many women. As previously mentioned, it's more about having the right strategy than it is about brainstorming the perfect opener.

Believe it or not, online dating websites can check how you're performing -- and they'll reward or penalize you accordingly. Online dating companies want to make sure people are having a positive experience, so they'll make you less visible if you spam right swipes. They might even shadow ban your POF account entirely and you'd never know.

Also, you shouldn't leave a match hanging, ever. Get into their DMs soon after you match with them, and try to give them a positive memory. This isn't just true for POF messages, but other online dating sites as well.

It's pretty clever design, since an unexpected nice encounter is what causes a spark between two people in real life, too. They're just enforcing it! Send more positive POF messages and you'll start to get more messages when online dating.