How to Respond to What’s Up on Tinder: A Step-by-Step Guide (2025)

It's rare, but maybe you really can be relaxed with this girl. Chemistry works that way sometimes. A "what's up" can lead into a conversation about your busy week (or hers), and then you find that you're still talking to her an hour later. If she started with a "what's up," maybe she wants something chill.

"I had a busy week. How about you?"

The only problem is, there's no way to know if this will work. You're leaving it entirely up to fate with this method. But if you're the type to put a ton of effort into first messages and get disappointed every time, this might be crazy enough to work. Just don't start telling her your life story.

Calling her by her name is one of the best ways to pique her interest. Everybody likes seeing their own name written somewhere; it's like a little present. Like a nice glass of wine, it can lower the blood pressure. Give her this present by using her name alongside a sweet comment.

"Catherine! How has your day been going?"

"I was hoping to hear from you, Rachel."

"I've never met someone with your name, Rita!"

"Everyone I've met named Kim has been lovely."

The above messages are sorted from casual to romantic -- and it's important to decide casual or romantic based on your own personality and what the other person is like.

One of the best things you can do is give an open-ended response mentioning something that they like. This is a great way to start a conversation with anyone!

The trick is to find the right balance between specific and open-ended.

A great response should:

• Mention something shown in her profile
• Don't be so basic as to say "so you like ________?"
• Ask a question or make a statement that you're genuinely interested in
• Show that you know a little bit about the hobby
• Avoid expert-level conversation

She won't like someone who knows too little about the topic. She doesn't want to explain the basics. Take our word for it: she can tell you know nothing about it, so don't even try to pretend.

On the flipside, she doesn't want someone mansplaining to her either. Nobody likes someone showing up with a ton of knowledge up front; they may feel the need to match your energy and act super knowledgeable. The result? You only have one thing to talk about, and only one way to talk about it. An informal greeting would've worked better than this.

Find the Goldilocks zone. Right in the middle. Mention something that shows you have a bit of experience -- which you also think will be interesting to someone else. Expect this back-and-forth to last for 2-3 messages each and then transition to another topic.

"What's up" is low-effort, everyone knows that. But maybe she's just super eager to hear what you start out with! Take this opportunity to hit back with a great pick-up line. Nothing wrong with trying to make someone laugh, right? Funny responses are some of the most successful on Tinder.

"Didn't I see you on Spotify? You were featured as the hottest single."

"Do you like raisins? No? How about a date?"

"Let's go get tacos because I can't wait to taco 'bout how amazing you are."

Some people think sarcasm is funny -- but sarcastic responses should only be attempted when you've built sufficient rapport with the other person. Only a good friend should use it, and even then only sparingly.

If she messaged with just "what's up" or "hey," she obviously wants to talk to someone but doesn't know what to say. Ask her opinion to get her talking!

Try to keep it short and sweet. You can turn her mind towards a beautiful place by asking if she prefers to live by the mountains or the ocean.

Everyone's had the pineapple-on-pizza debate by now, so take it a step further: ask if she likes thin crust, regular crust -- or even stuffed crust.

Not every silence needs to be filled, but when it does need to be filled, you can always go with some wacky "would you rather" question:

• Would you rather go to the moon or deep down in the Mariana Trench?
• Would you rather be able to fly or turn invisible?
• Would you rather have a private boat or a private jet?

These questions just might be the spark you need to get the conversation going. Avoid ones you think she might've heard; nobody likes getting the same question again and again.

If you're trying to build a casual conversation, try not to make it too boring. Gas prices are not an ideal topic. Think of something that will pave the way for a funny response or three.

This is the perfect time to catch her off-guard with a polite response to make her swoon. Come up with something thoughtful and make it about something you can see in her profile. This is all about using pretty words, like writing poetry.

Here are some examples. Do NOT copy and paste these, as this message will be far more meaningful if you come up with it yourself. She's more likely to be impressed and flattered if it really comes from you.

• "You have a smile to light up a room."
• "Your face is how I imagine angels look."
• "You have a body to make a grown man cry."

You can also make it a bit silly, but don't forget that the main goal is to make her feel warm inside! That'll always elicit a good response.

This is like the "ask her opinion" method but with a bit more thought required. Come up with the beginning of a sentence and ask her to finish it. Bonus points if it has to do with dating.

• "My perfect date would involve..."
• "My most unpopular opinion is..."
• "People often compare me to..."
• "My favorite cuisine in the world is..."
• "I should be president because..."

"What's up" is a message that someone sends when they're bored. These great responses will get her engaged and eager to talk, so give it a shot! Try to chat a little bit about whatever she brought up, and then ask about her specifically. With luck, you'll be off to an hours-long conversation and the start of a beautiful relationship.

Keep it up with the occasional funny response and you'll be on the same page in no time.