21 Online Dating Red Flags and How to Keep Yourself Safe

A red flag is a sign that someone may someday hurt you or be dishonest with you. You start to notice red flags as you gain more dating experience. Those who haven't dated much won't know what signs to look out for.

It feels good to fall in love and crush on someone -- but this can make you blind to suspicious behavior. One moment you'll think that something they did was weird, the next you'll remember how good they make you feel. You'll forget the weird behavior immediately.

But here's the thing: it's easy to make someone feel good. It's a skill that people learn over many years and experiences. Those who have it will be so good at it, you won't even notice.

So, someone with experience will be able to charm others very easily. They'll have an attitude of not caring which can look very attractive, especially if they're older.

You won't notice red flags at first. Even when you start to, it can take a very long time to learn how to avoid them. You will repeat your mistakes several times. Similarly, sometimes a red flag is nothing serious. It's something you'll have to think about it carefully in each case.

On the one hand, it's good to make a few mistakes in your teens and 20s, but on the other hand, some of them can actually ruin your life. Don't use dating apps until you've learned how to spot a red flag.

Let's get into the online dating red flags.

Inconsistent Behavior

You'll feel very positively about him or her, and you'll try to engage them based on something you talked about previously. They'll act like they don't know what you're talking about. They'll feel like a stranger.

It's Actually All About Them

You feel so happy when you're talking to them. You feel assured that they feel the same way. But you eventually notice that they never want to do what you want to do. They dismiss your plans as bad ideas, and they keep it about them.

Come to think of it, they're always making it about themselves. You find yourself rehearsing things to tell them. You feel like you can't express yourself. You lie awake feeling like you were their audience -- not their partner. In any healthy relationship, you should feel like you have some control.

They're Constantly One-Upping You

If you tell an anecdote or something personal about yourself, and their response is to one-up you with a more interesting or deeper story, two things are true: they aren't listening to you and they are more concerned with being above you than being with you.

They Never Answer Questions Directly

If they always give inconclusive or confusing answers, they're either keeping you at a distance or terribly unsure of themselves. You won't get very far with them in either case.

They Treat You As An Option, Not A Priority

Here's something that's basically true: if they want to see you, they will make it happen. People will only make excuses to get out of things they don't want to do. This can hurt terribly -- but don't take it too personally. Maybe they have too many friends to handle because they like being the center of attention. You don't want to get close to someone like that.

They Cancel All The Time

This is an obvious red flag. You can't move forward if you aren't even seeing each other.

You Haven't Had A Deep Conversation Together

They may only ask you basic questions, or they may deflect or distract from having a real conversation.

Their Personal Instagram Account Is Only Pet Pictures

Dogs and cats are wonderful. They're your best friends. But you can't base your entire personality off of them. People escape into pet ownership to avoid dealing with real life and real people. They'll avoid dealing with you, too. Rule of thumb: if their profile pictures are of their pet, it's a red flag.

An Instagram account devoted to their pet, separate from their personal one? That's a different story. They're cool.

They Turn The Topic Towards Sex Way Too Early

Lewd pictures and off-color jokes; it's a huge red flag if these show up early on.

They Broke Up With Someone For You

If someone has a relationship status with someone, run far, far away.

They Talk About Past Relationships Constantly

One of the most obvious signs that they will never care deeply about you.

They Want Sex On The First Date

This isn't always a red flag. A hook up can turn into something more. But if it seems like a really nice and gentle date and then it suddenly turns into a sexual advance, that's a huge red flag.

They Cross Boundaries Very Suddenly and It Makes You Uncomfortable

Healthy relationships are all about managing boundaries in a careful consensual way. Someone who gets angry when you try to take things slow doesn't have any emotional maturity.

They Take a Long Time to Respond

When someone cares and respects you, they don't want to leave you hanging for too long. On the other hand, a response that comes 24 hours later shouldn't be tolerated. Get out while you can.

They Are Almost Non-Existent on Socials

Let's face it: it's expected for someone to have a Twitter or Instagram account full of pictures and personal thoughts. How could they not have one? They're probably hiding it from you to keep you at a distance -- or they're trying to catfish you. If their online dating profile is all you know of them, that's a warning sign. You should go off the dating app and onto another messaging app eventually.

They Want To Switch to WhatsApp Immediately

This is a scammer trying to get your number and add it to a scam call list.

You Have Seen Very Few Clear Pictures of Them

This is one of the most obvious red flags and a sign of a catfisher. At best, they want to keep you a distance and you'll never truly know them. At worst, this person will attempt identity theft or kidnap you. Avoid online dating profiles where you can barely see the person.

They Can't Video Call At A Moment's Notice

This is another sign of catfishing. Maybe they can't video chat because they aren't the person in the picture. Or they don't respect you at all and aren't willing to get to know you better.

An Almost Empty Profile

This is a clear sign of a bot or catfisher.

Pictures That Look Fake

A guy in an Armani suit with Ray Ban sunglasses leaning on a Ferrari? A petite girl dressed perfectly in the driver's seat of an expensive car? These aren't real people.

They Immediately Bring Up Money, Stocks, or Trading

These are scammers trying to steal money or bank details from you.

As you can see, red flags can either result in emotional pain/manipulation or getting scammed. In any case, red flags are red flags, and you'll want to avoid them at all costs. When using dating apps or when online dating, watch out for them as best you can.

Verified accounts will help you avoid scammers, that much is for sure. They won't always keep you safe from the red flags of people who will emotionally manipulate you. In online dating and offline, you'll need to use your judgment and experience to watch out for those.