Getting a phone number seems like both a cool end-goal, and meaningless at the same time: If you can chat in the app, why bother? And on the other hand, it is key to foresee a date! Learn all the tips about smooth ways to get those digits!
Roast Founder, Dating and AI Expert
Published March 24, 2022 -Updated October 15, 2024
Dating apps all have chat features built-in — so why bother getting a girl's number?
There are a lot of reasons! Switching your conversation from a dating app to a cell phone makes it more likely that the conversation will continue. It's easy to skip logging in to an online dating site for a few days, but your phone's text messages are always right in front of you.
It's also worth getting the woman's phone number before you go on an actual date so that it will be easier to follow up. It's too easy to ghost someone on a dating app. But if you've exchanged phone numbers it's a lot more obvious if you start ignoring someone. If you've been getting no Tinder dates, maybe it's time to take the conversation off Tinder.
So how do you get her number? We're going to break it down for you. Skip to the part you're interested in or read through for all of our best tips.
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Table of Contents
Here is the outline of the article, feel free to jump to the section that interests you the most.
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If the goal is to move off the apps and into real life, getting her phone number is a good first step.
When you're exchanging Tinder messages there's no forgetting that this is online dating. Once you're exchanging text messages, it feels more like messaging with a friend or crush. This means a conversation is more likely to continue, even if a single message falls flat. When you're still messaging in the app, it's too easy to simply drop a conversation.
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Okay, so you know you need to get her number. How should you do it?
You don't want your very first move after you've made a match to be trying to get her number. She'll likely run the other way if you come on that strong. You need to play it cool and establish mutual interest before taking things to the next level.
While it might be frustrating to wait, your chances will increase once you've shown that it's nice talking to you.
Sure, you could try using a smooth line on her, but honesty is usually the best policy. Here are some examples of what that could look like:
"I always forget to open my Tinder app and I'd hate to miss a message from you. Can we switch to text?"
"This app can be a little buggy and I don't always get notifications, can I get your number so we can text?"
If you've got a good sense of humor, you can use it to your advantage here. Show your fun and playful side when you ask for her number. Need an example? Try something like,
"My contacts are lonely without your number."
"Can I get your phone number? My dog wants to call you. (He's terrible at texting.)"
"I can't find my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
The point of this approach isn't to trick her with a smooth line, but to use the way that you ask to remind her that chatting with you is fun and give a preview of what to expect when you're texting. If humor isn't your best skill, you can use a funny meme to help you out.
Moving things from Tinder to text can be a way to show that you want more than a fun conversation, you want to take her on a date! And it can be easier to plan a date — with all the back and forth that includes — when you're texting. Not to mention it's helpful to confirm a date via text (or, as a last resort, give a heads up if you're running late.)
The fact is, the chat feature in dating apps isn't very useful for timely messages. So switching to text is ideal if you're going to meet up.
Lots of us have forgotten what phones used to be for — making phone calls! But why not try something old-fashioned and suggest the two of you talk on the phone. It can help to get to know someone to actually hear their voice, and it can also help build trust and connection before meeting up in person. So let her know you're interested in calling her to talk and see what she has to say. Just make sure you have some ideas of things to talk about before you call!
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It's important to show that you can take no for an answer. In fact, that's a trait that a lot of girls are looking for on dating apps. So if you throw a tantrum or get aggressive when she says no, you've blown it. Guys that throw tantrums don't pass the Shit Test and won't get dates!
If the conversation is going well and it seems like she's into you, try asking for the reason. There might be a way to solve the problem. For example, using a google voice number, or another messaging app if she's worried about privacy.
But ultimately, you'll need to take no for an answer rather than be pushy. And you'll probably win points by taking no gracefully.
Once you've been a gentleman about not getting her number, ask if she'd still like to get together and try to make a date. The way you've handled this interaction should have built trust that will help get you more dates.
If she doesn't want to give you her number or go on a date, then this connection just wasn't meant to be.
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You should now be more at ease knowing how to get a woman's phone number from a dating app!
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Ben is one of the best Dating Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of online dating. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 20M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!
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