Tinder Texting Guide: how to text a girl on Tinder?

If you want to get a girl attracted, you must first send the right message.

Online dating has become more and more popular over the years, with many people going on these sites to find their perfect match.

Not everyone knows how to approach someone they are interested in online or through text messages. Online dating is a numbers game, and not everyone has the time to message every person they have a match with. So what is the right way of doing it?

Here you are, you see that perfect girl while swiping.

You get attracted straight away and ask yourself the question

"What should I text her to drive her crazy? To make her chase me? "

Good thinking!

I was thinking the same.

However, the real question to ask yourself is :

"Who am I to think she should be interested?"

Or more importantly

"What should she be attracted to me? "

I'm sure you have tons on qualities. An interesting life to share, cool hobbies.

But guess what. Until you talk about all that, she does not know! Girls are not psychic (good and bad thing at the same time, I have to say!).

So start there. Think about what she should know about you! And mention those things in the conversation. No one will do it for you!

Best way to portray your qualities is having a solid profile. If you did not try it, or have issues getting matches, check out ROAST. Best way to get quality feedback on your profile!

Let's go back to the start now!

I can tell you what should not work:

"Hey, I see we have a match! What's up?"

No. No no no. Noooooooo. That will never EVER make her want you back or interested in your text messages again - NEVER !!! "The first message should be as simple, and unpredictable one.

Something witty that catches the attention.

You do not know what to say? No panic. I have written an article about just that!

Check it out to get the best 2021 openers!

Break expectations by being real, and mostly, creative! You need to stand out from your competition.

The problem is that not everyone knows how Online dating has become more and more popular over the years, with many people going on these sites in order find their perfect match.

If you start strong, you'll get a good lead on other guys who are less confident or skilled at talking to women online!

What do I mean by starting strong?

If you start with a boring closed Yes / No question, it is very likely that the exchange will die soon!

What is exactly happening?

Texting is like playing tennis with your partner. You have to throw the ball.

It has to be challenging, with good shots that will have your partner run.

But also playful ones, where she will be able to express her skills to!

No one will play with someone boring!

So please be creative with your openers. And if you need help, check those opening lines.

In the conversation above, I quickly turn a possible boring subject into something fun and sexy!

It is your responsibility to throw the ball back well to your partner.

So, important points to keep in mind in that section:

• Online dating can be hard if you don't know what to say.

• Messages should be challenging and playful, but also have a purpose.

  
  

Your goal in text messages (or other forms of online communication) should be to show your partner the cool things about you and market yourself. As smooth as possible.

And play! Play with the other person to form an interesting vibe.

What usually poses a problem will be tackled in the next section. We can be our own enemy sometimes.

We often create strong expectations about the girl without knowing her at all. We then get carried away, very emotional. This leads to us over texting, texting too fast and reacting strongly.

In the end the girl will sense it and loose interest, because of lack of challenge, or overwhelming attention.

How can you control your emotions?

You need to learn how to manage them! The best way is through a process called "sensory awareness", which means that when you feel like acting on impulse (texting more than she texts you back) - take a moment for yourself first and re-set your body's state by focusing on what's happening around you in that moment...

How do I solve this?

Learn how to control those emotions!

You can get in touch with us if interested, I have been through this process for years. It is crazy how you can get a LOT of results in a limited time.

Everything can be taught, from managing stress levels so they don't affect your relationships, understanding why YOU react certain ways when communicating with women online or offline and most importantly, keep a cool head and stop suffering from strong emotional roller coasters!

So how to see that you are getting ahead of yourself?

• You are too focused on a specific conversation. Waiting for the next answer.

• You answer too fast, you do not really wait a moment when you WANT to answer. You just feel URGES to do so.

• You text WAY more than her. Compare the colors you see on the screen.

• You are already projecting yourself with that girl. Even if you barely ever met!

  
  

With those red flags on, BREATH. Talking to different girls helps too.

Here in the above conversation, I was super tempted to jump on the convo, and try to "fix" the problem. I actually got caught up and busy with other things.

She ended up changing her mind on her own! Perfect!

First step to get back in control is to get to know better Tinder's rules. We talk about them and mindsets to have in our Ebook about the Hidden Mechanics!

You're there texting that girl on your favorite dating app, wondering how to have her want you, be crazy about you.

I have one question for you.

• How does the texting usually go?
• Do you have a map of the interaction you are in?
• Which step are you at exactly?

Most guys don't!

They do not have a clear structure in mind when they are texting women.

They just go with the flow and hope for the best - which is rarely good enough!

This leads to most of their texts being ignored, or worse yet, misinterpreted by the woman.

However, it doesn't need to be that way! With a simple structure in place, you can get better results every time you text her. You will also learn how to avoid common mistakes and keep your conversations going smoothly from start to finish.

In the screenshot, I knew I had enough branded myself. It was time to go more intimate. Otherwise, we could get stuff on a LinkedIn kind of interaction!

The problem with most dating advice out there is that it's too vague (and boring!).

So many people try to teach others about "text games" but they don't really tell you what exactly that means...

Instead of giving solid examples and actually showing real-life examples of what works, most coaches leave their students hanging because they can't show them anything concrete.

It's like trying to explain how an engine works without being able to show one.

A classic thing we see online is to give Woo Woo examples and tips. The best one being the "be yourself".

Well, when I started working on my dating life, I was myself, and it didn't work dude!

What you must have, and that we can tailor for you, is a simple 4-5 steps structure, to know if your interaction is going well, forward, is slowing down, or is crashing!

That's really easy to get. And having a map and compass helps TONS to move around!

We covered the basics of the text. Mindset is super important to understand why a girl should be interested in you.

Let's now jump to some more practical examples. We have seen openers in our article before.

Now, some tips to bring fun and get girls to be attracted to you.

Stay mysterious

Teasing people's curiosity by not saying everything at once is a good way to make them chase you on dating apps.

It also helps to be non-committal, as you are not showing your intentions too fast.

You want the girl to work for it!

A good example of that is when she asks what's your name ? and you answer "John".

What if I ask where do you live? And I only say my first name. She will be eager to find out more.

Besides, it's also a good way not to have too much info about you on the internet!

Don't play cool, move forward!

It is not a contest of who has the better lines, it is about making sure you connect with that person.

It takes time and skill to do this but don't try too hard either. Give them a chance to talk and get interested in what they are saying before you jump into another line.

There is no need to text her for hours, you want her attention but don't be needy or pushy.

The thing that will make a woman feel attracted quickly is when she feels like she can trust you and rely on your opinion in the conversation.

Texting with them long-term does not work this way, so it's imperative that you move the interaction forward and meet.

This is also a good way to see what she wants in life.

It's not always about sex!

Don't be scared of being assertive and asking for things you want, like her number or an invitation on a date!  It will make it easier for both parties.

This is really sexy when the girl feels you know what you are doing.

Don't idealize the girl, be a giver.

Don't think of you trying to get something from the girl. Think that you will provide good vibes and good moments.

We are often tempted to think of the perfect line, think about what will the girl like most. Big mistake.

Keep your own opinions, don't try to please!

You have been in this situation where you hear yourself saying:

"I actually LOVE sushis" when in fact you hate this!

It seems like a good idea, it is however the worst you can have.

How sexy is someone that is just some jelly, adapting to its environment? Zero!

If you try to please the girl, say "what she is expecting", you will quickly appear as won-over, unchallenging, boring.

• I love wine!

• I hate it

  
  

Stating what you really like, your opinions are sexy!

Be creative

Work on your creativity. Everyone likes when you get the "perfect line" out. That little line comes across unexpected, surprising, triggering emotions.

There are lots of ways to work on it.

A good way is working on brainstorming. You take a sentence, say from a movie, and try to answer 10 different ways.

Some may be completely crazy. That's ok.

This is how you finally get to answer in unpredicted and charismatic ways!

If you want a girl to want you back, you need to show one important thing:

You have a good vibe, and do not need her in your life to be happy.

You have to show her that you are doing well: portrait your value. Be genuine, have an interest in what she is up to. However, don't go back to bad habits! Don't run after her to get her validation or please her!

You have to show her that you are still going on with your life.

This is how she will know that she wants to be part of that good life you are portraying to her!