So you've got a match on Tinder — now what?
It's time to turn that Tinder match into a Tinder date and to do that you need to start a conversation to break the ice.
We know this part can feel overwhelming, that's why we're going to break down your options for you to make the process simple! Jump to the section you're most curious about or read the whole article for our best tips.
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Here is the outline of the article, feel free to jump to the section that interests you the most.
We don't want to stress you out, but there's a lot riding on your first message.
Much like the snap decision she made when deciding to swipe left or right, your message needs to grab her attention and make her want to reply.
If the message is terrible, she'll unmatch or even block you on the spot. (And if it goes really wrong, maybe even report you.)
And if the message is just meh... that's almost as bad. She'll likely leave it in her inbox and never get around to replying.
That's why we're going to spell out the best icebreakers for you to use.
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Ultimately, good icebreakers are ones that get a response! But you won't know that until you try.
That means you'll simply need to follow some of our dating advice until you get a feel for what works for you.
If you feel comfortable using humor, aiming for a smile or a laugh is a good way to start. Most people who use a dating app appreciate a good sense of humor (and often list it as something they're looking for) so this is a great skill to show off.
Funny tinder icebreakers can include an actual joke or something that's simply playful. Even cheesy icebreakers work if you use them well.
Complements can work — if used carefully. You don't want to come on too strong or come across as creepy. That means no comments about her body and comments about her looks should be made with extreme caution.
Much safer bets are complements about her taste, style, or interests. For example, being excited about her favorite movies, books, or music. If you genuinely share an interest, this is a great time to say so.
You can also complement elements from her photos, especially if there's a picture of a pet. Telling someone they have a cute dog is always a safe bet, and something most people are happy to hear. You can even blend this in with a funny line, like asking if you can take her dog on a date to the beach.
Tinder has said that using a GIF as an icebreaker increases your chances of a reply — and that advice is too good to ignore!
A GIF catches the eye right away. People are visual creatures and add a bit of motion to that, and we're basically cats pawing at the screen.
You can use a GIF simply to add some visual interest to your icebreaker, or better yet, you can choose a GIF that fits into one of the other categories of recommended icebreaker, like something that's funny.
And no, we don't mean the kind of toxic game playing that can happen in some relationships. Rather, think of the kind of game you might play at a party.
One good option is two truths and a lie — everyone knows how that works so you don't need to waste time explaining. Plus, the format is bound to spark her curiosity, and make her want to find out if her guess is right.
Be sure to specify that along with her guess, she should send her own list. This makes this ice breaker work in two ways — one, she'll want to know if she's right, and two, she'll be eager to share her own facts.
Similar to the game option, people feel compelled to answer questions — especially if you come up with a good one.
This doesn't mean you should get overly personal right away. Rather, you should focus on a question that helps break the ice by getting to know each other. Especially if it's something that could give you an idea for a date to suggest.
For example, you could ask about her favorite flavor of ice cream and then propose an ice cream date.
We've given you a lot of ideas of what you should try, but it's worth spelling out a few things you should absolutely not do. No matter how desperate you're feeling to find a Tinder icebreaker, the following should be avoided.
We mentioned this in the section about complements above, but it's worth mentioning again. Don't start talking about sex or bodies right away — in fact, avoid talking about her physical appearance entirely. Tt's not only a turn-off, but it's something that's likely to get you reported or blocked.
If the two of you have both been clear that you're looking for a hookup, maybe things will get hot and heavy early in the conversation, but this is the only exception to the rule — and even then you need to ASK FIRST before you say anything explicit, and certainly before you send any explicit photos.
It's such a consistent joke online that guys will simply message "Hey" as a pickup line, that it's hard to believe it still happens, but it does.
Honestly, just saying "Hey" is worse than saying nothing at all. You may think that it's you making the first move and putting the ball in her court. But really, it's just showing that you can't be bothered to make an effort, and makes a terrible first impression.
So, don't be that guy.
If you want her to make the first move, or if you're really just not excited about the match, you're better off letting her sit in the cue of your other matches. Maybe she'll send the first text, or maybe you'll feel inspired to send a good icebreaker later on. So don't spoil your chances with one or two words that are likely to end the conversation before it ever starts.
We know how tempting it is to steal ideas from the internet when you want to sound interesting, but this can backfire.
Be best way to use this kind of advice is to get ideas about what works, and then make the style your own. If you simply copy paste a message, it won't be personal, and people can tell.
Your icebreakers need to be tailored to the person you're writing to, or they'll sound impersonal. Not only that, most people on dating apps have seen enough of the memes to know what funny ice breakers are circulating on the internet, and it will be obvious they weren't your idea.
The most effective ice breaker lines are the ones you come up with yourself, that are customized to the person you're writing to.
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The best Tinder openers can lead to a first date in no time, but it can take a while to get a feel for what makes for good Tinder icebreakers.
Just remember that like all aspects of online dating, you get the hang of it with a little bit of practice. And if you want even more help to start conversations, we got you covered.
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Ben is one of the best Tinder Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of Tinder. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 5M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!