Dirty Tinder Opening 2023: Swipe Right for the Disaster

I'm not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.

Baby, are you a lion? Because I can see you lion in my bed tonight.

Wanna share your side of the bed tonight?

Just to be clear, we're both heading for the same bed tonight, right?

Hey girl! I hope you believe in karma because I know a lot of good karma sutra positions.

What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

I'd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.

Are you a light switch? Because you really turn me on.

Can I give you an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, but Down Under!

I'm not into watching sunsets, but I'd love to see you go down.

I don't think I want your babies, but I wouldn't mind refining my baby-making technique with you.

I love your outfit in the first picture. I bet it would look even better on my bedroom floor.

My mom said she found a beautiful and intelligent girl for me. Is that you?

Hey girl, I'm a fully-fledged meteorologist, and something's telling me you're in for a few inches tonight.

I'm having trouble sleeping by myself. Can you sleep with me?

Aside from being incredibly sexy, what else do you do for a living?

Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

One of my friends told me girls hate oral. Do you want to help me prove him wrong?

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!

Let me guess your favorite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered; then, I'll nail you.

You must be my Tinderella because I'm going to make that dress disappear at midnight.

Hey girl, is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.

Are you a washing machine? Because I want to put my dirty load in you.

Let's play Winnie the Pooh and get my nose stuck in your honey jar.

Let's play Barbie. I'll be Ken; you can be the box I come in.

Are you the lottery lady on TV? Because I'm picturing you holding up my balls.

Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you.

Are you a haunted house? Because I'm going to scream when I'm in you.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard.

The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don't you help me use it?

Did your license get suspended for driving all these girls crazy?

Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.

Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

That's a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have s*x?

Are you a campfire? Because you're hot, and I want s'more.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

Are you a stack of dirty dishes? ‘Cause I want to spend all night taking care of you.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I've got a large bone for you to examine.

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Your lips look lonely. Wanna introduce them to mine?

Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.

I've heard of love at first sight, but I wasn't prepared for love at first swipe.

Are you my pinky toe? Because I'd like to bang you on all my furniture.

Did you hear that new Cardi B song? Want me to sing it to you?

Let only latex stand between our love.

Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Want to save water by showering together?

Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I swear, I can see myself in your pants.

Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?