64 Witty, Funny, And Flirty Text Comeback Ideas to Try in 2024

A text comeback is a reply characterized by quick and inventive verbal humor. People often use comebacks as revenge after they've been insulted, abused, or received a dry text.

A great comeback is a blow that hits harder than the first punch, restores your confidence, and puts you in the spotlight of the conversation. It's a more interesting way to answer or dismiss a bully instead of entertaining an argument. If you got ghosted there's responses for that too.

How are these texting comebacks in your best interest? Firstly they show that you're confident and not a pleaser. So whoever is on the other end will not try to get manipulative with you since you have your own standards. On the contrary, you'll be able to get into their heads without them knowing it.

Also, when you answer with quick-witted comebacks, you show that you're incredibly charismatic. It's a sign of social intelligence and that's a whole new level of attractiveness. Lastly, comebacks are your ultimate verbal defence mechanism on the internet, where cyberbullying and hate speech are the order of the day. When you use the right text comeback to win such conversations, you show that you will not be intimidated or afraid to stand up for yourself.

Don’t drag things out if you’re using Tinder or Hinge. The key is to have a mic-drop moment and then get out — because if they report you, it can mess with your visibility on the app. Find out more about how to make your profile reach more people with ROAST. ROAST shows you how you can improve your profile so that it goes right to the top of everyone’s swipe pile. Try it today.

Without further ado, let's explore this list of witty, funny, and flirty comebacks.

1. Well, opinions vary.

   
   

2. I'm well aware that I am not everyone's cup of tea. I'd rather be a shot of tequila anyway!

   
   

3. Really? And I wasn’t even trying too hard!

   
   

4. I hear there's a new app called Sense of Humor. Download it, bitch!

   
   

5. Funny, I was just thinking the same about you.

   
   

6. I didn’t mean to push your buttons. I was just looking for mute.

   
   

7. Well, regardless, I like you.

   
   

8. Go play with your toys, little one.

1. I am happily self-partnered.

   
   

2. Name one married superhero. *silence* Exactly!

   
   

3. I'm currently in a committed relationship with myself.

   
   

4. Not anymore, now that you’re here.

   
   

5. No. I’m in a relationship with food.

   
   

6. No, I’m double.

   
   

7. I am looking for someone compatible.

   
   

8. We tried, but it didn't work out.

   
   

9. I don't have an identical twin if that's what you're asking.

   
   

10. Wait, is this you breaking up with me?

    
    

11. No, I'm an album.

    
    

12. If you want to apply as my boyfriend/girlfriend, send your cover letter and resume to my email address.

What can be more inappropriate than a random text asking if you’re single? Can’t they use a dating app? Speaking of which, if you’re using a dating app, you can build a profile to attract the right kind of person. All you have to do is hire the help of ROAST — a service that’ll analyze your bio and profile pictures. They’ll also give you tips to maximize your reach and weed out the weirdos.

1. I know you are trying to pick on me, but you will have to try harder.

   
   

2. Yeah, I'm not surprised because a tiny body can't fit all my outstanding personalities. I can't say the same about you, though.

   
   

3. Things expand when they heat. I’m HOT! It’s my summer body, you see.

   
   

4. I noticed that too. Don't you have anything better to do?

   
   

5. Your constant fixation with my body makes me think you either want me or want to be me.

   
   

6. I hear there is a new book on sale called “Minding Your Business” . You should get it.

   
   

7. "Fat" is a temporary caloric imbalance, but “stupid” is a permanent genetic malfunction.

   
   

8. If I just made you feel uncomfortable, it would seem my work here is done.

Did you get this text on Tinder? Now’s a great time to report them — they’ll be sent to the trash pile if you do, and no one will see them on the app. If you want more tips on how Tinder works, you should consult the advice of ROAST. It’s a team of professionals who have studied the inner workings of dating apps so that you can get more likes and matches on Tinder. Try ROAST today.

1. I’m fine, but I don’t care to talk to you.

   
   

2. You look 100 per cent better when I can't see you.

   
   

3. You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.

   
   

4. I don't make mistakes; I date them.

   
   

5. You might still want me, but you'll have to get in line.

   
   

6. Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But then I flushed it, and it came out of the loo.

   
   

7. Good luck finding someone who will put up with your bullshit as well as I did.

   
   

8. How am I supposed to forget you when every time I go out, I see things that remind me of you, like garbage bins and dog shit.

   
   

9. Accepting you back into my life is like going to a garage sale and buying back my own crap!

   
   

10. I already have some trash in the bin; I don't need more.

The best revenge is personal success. If you’re keen to dish out that revenge sooner, hop on a dating app and equip yourself with the best profile imaginable. ROAST can build that profile for you — they’re an app and service that leverages the algorithm to increase your visibility, and therefore your matches. Start by taking a short quiz.

1. Use your imagination.

   
   

2. Maybe if you send some first.

   
   

3. No, but when my playboy contract comes through, you can buy the magazine.

   
   

4. Sorry, we're closed. Please come back later.

   
   

5. I'll forward this to my dad, and you can try asking him for some.

   
   

6. Has this ever worked for you?

   
   

7. There are plenty of naked girls on the internet you can look at.

   
   

8. They say life is full of disappointment. I guess I can add this conversation to that list.

1. Anyone can cover ugly up, but you can’t photoshop your ugly personality.

   
   

2. If your heart were half as cute as my face, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

   
   

3. It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste.

   
   

4. That makes two of us. Fortunately, my mouth is leaking like yours.

   
   

5. Maybe you should eat makeup to try and be pretty on the inside.

   
   

6. Yeah, I was trying to look like you today.

   
   

7. Sorry honey, I’m not your mirror.

   
   

8. I'm sorry; either my face is a mirror, or you're looking in the wrong direction.

   
   

9. Thanks for the comment, but I would pick an ugly face over a shallow personality any day.

We’ve all been to high school. We know that when someone calls you ugly, they mean the opposite and just don’t know it. Attention from a hater is still attention, and more attention on Tinder actually boosts your visibility. Get more people calling you ugly by using ROAST — an app that shows off the stunning person you are. ROAST gives tips on what kind of photos to have on Tinder so you’re bumped to the top of everyone’s swipe queue.

1. Make Me.

   
   

2. I can’t. That would give you too much time to talk crap.

   
   

3. Does the truth hurt?

   
   

4. I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.

   
   

5. I'm not really good at that.

   
   

6. Kids should wait for their turn. The adults are speaking.

   
   

7. Oh Okay. I didn't mean to intimidate you with my wisdom/humor.

   
   

8. Great advice; why don't you demonstrate to me how that works?

   
   

9. Why? Is it because I’m uttering words you’re not smart enough to understand?