How to Text A Girl After Number: Full Explained 2024

The internet is full of advice about how long you're supposed to wait before a first text, how long to wait between texts, and every other detail of your relationship, too.

The first thing you need to do is forget all those rules.

For example, the "three day rule" is commonly quoted, but what's the point? Sure, you might not want to come across and creepy or overeager — and that's important, but there's no rule that will take care of that for you.

If you've really hit it off, you could absolutely miss your chance if you insist on following an arbitrary rule and don't strike while the iron is hot, just because internet dating advice said so. After all, you don't want to wait so long that she'll forget who you are!

Meanwhile, you could easily wait the three days and still come across as creepy if you say the wrong thing. Texting is both simpler, and more complicated, than anything that can be summed up into simple rules. What you need to do is read the room and make sure you're sharing the same vibe... not follow a textbook formula.

Okay, we've already established that there are no rules, but there are still some guidelines. How soon you should text depends on the circumstances under which you got her number.

Dating apps

Once she gave you her number from dating apps like Tinder for example, it could make sense to establish text contact with a first message right away. Once you've exchanged numbers, there's no reason to keep chatting in the app — so go ahead and move the conversation to text message.

It's also a good way to make sure you've got the number right while you've still got her attention online. It would suck to miss out on a match because of a typo you waited too long to discover. Make sure you know what she's looking for on Tinder before you start texting though. It's important to be on the same page.

The end of a first date

If you got her number at the end of the first date — that's a good sign. She likes you enough to share her number, which means she probably wants to get together again. But how soon should you text? That depends on how well the date went.

If the date was off-the-charts good, it can work to text right away. Something like, "miss you already" or "hope you got home safely" can either come off as way too intense or as super sweet, depending on how emotionally connected you are at that point. So you need to be able to make an honest and accurate assessment of how the date went before you make the call.

If you're on the fence, wait until the next day to send a text message. (Remember that most men will blow it and come on too strong.)

At a party or event

Congratulations, you met someone in the wild! Sometimes, it still happens. If you met someone through friends or out at an event and exchange numbers, you may want to wait a minute to text.

If you text while you're still at the event it might seem strange — after all, aren't you both enjoying the event or talking to your friends? You don't want to come on too strong and make it seem like this person you just met is already more interesting than everything going on around you.

But — there's a loophole. One great way to exchange numbers and establish contact right away is to have one of you put your number in the other's phone, and then have them text right away — to establish the connection. That's an ideal icebreaker and will also allow you to send something silly in response. Try to keep a couple of good GIFs on hand for these occasions.

Your first message will help establish a pattern, so you want to get things started on the right foot. Here are some ideas for what to say once you get her number.

Keep it simple

The first message doesn't need to be complicated! Try something like, "I had a great time last night," or "it was great meeting you." Just being straightforward is often the way to go, and you can always add a little interest to your texting by including some smiley faces or a GIF. Remember, if she's still interested, it won't take much effort to get a conversation going.

Bring up a shared memory

This strategy works on two levels. First, it simply reminds her who the heck you are, and saves any awkwardness that could come from her having to ask. Second, it reminds her why she wanted you to have her number in the first place. This could be a memory of sharing a good laugh on your date or at a party, or something funny that happened in an online conversation.

Whatever you choose, it helps reinforce the idea that the two of you already have a rapport, and that works wonders.

Ask for a picture

Want to make a bold move? Ask for her picture first thing. Remember, adding a girl to your phone gives you the perfect excuse — tell her you want an image to use for her contact photo.

If the connection is right for flirting at this point, you can even say you're looking forward to seeing her face pop up every time she sends you a message. If she's into you, she'll appreciate the compliment.