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How to Not Be Needy Over Text: 10 Simple Tips for 2024

When you send a text message, you'll want to know how much communication is the perfect amount to keep her interested. Keep reading to find out how to avoid texting mistakes with the girl you like.
How To Not Be Needy Over Text?

Talking to a new girl over text is exciting. You’re getting to know each other and are spending more time talking and thinking about one another. The last thing you want to do when you’ve just met a girl who you’re texting is to come off as needy and desperate.


If she starts to think you’re way more into her than she’s into you, it’ll be offputting and she’ll be more likely to leave you on read. Rather than scare her away by being too clingy, you need to keep your cool while staying confident and sure of yourself. 


Healthy relationships need communication, so show off your self confidence and get her to text you back with these tips.

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Table of Contents

Here is the outline of the article, feel free to jump to the section that interests you the most.

  1. 1. Don’t start every conversation
  2. 2. Avoid double texting
  3. 3. Give some time in between texts
  4. 4. Don’t text her every day
  5. 5. Keep your texts a good length
  6. 6. Ask questions
  7. 7. Know when to lead
1. Don’t start every conversation

1. Don’t start every conversation

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Do you start nearly all of the text conversations you’ve had so far? To stop looking needy, you need to let her start some of the conversations too. The next time your conversation ends, wait until she texts you first. Keep your communication habits in check and avoid appearing desperate by waiting for her message.


If you’re worried she won’t text you at all — don’t be, because if she’s genuinely interested in you, she will text you first. 

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2. Avoid double texting

2. Avoid double texting

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One of the biggest rules when it comes to texting is to avoid double texting at all costs. When you text her and she doesn’t respond, don’t double text and send her another message or call her. This is a super needy and desperate move that will only make her less eager to keep talking to you.


If a girl doesn’t reply, keep it cool and remain patient. There are a variety of reasons why she’s not texting back right away. She could be busy, traveling, or at work. Let her reply when she has the time and is ready to, and don’t force a conversation by being too available. 

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3. Give some time in between texts

3. Give some time in between texts

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While you may be having a great conversation with her, that doesn’t mean you should reply to her right away every time. You’ll end up looking super desperate and needy if you’re always texting right away. She’ll end up thinking you’re too available, and may not have many other things going on in your life if you’re always texting quickly.

We recommend waiting some time between texts. This is the easiest way to keep a person's attention and show her you're busy with an interesting life. An hour to a few hours is a good amount of time to wait, as long as you’re texting within 24 hours of her message.


Leaving it too long before you reply could kill the conversation and she may think you’re uninterested in her or are only interested in a hookup. 

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4. Don’t text her every day

4. Don’t text her every day

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While it’s good to reply to her texts within 24 hours, you don’t have to keep starting new conversations and text her every single day. It’s completely normal to go a day or two without texting your crush in real life, even if you’re both really interested in each other.


It gives you both some time to go about your days, and have time to miss each other. You won't be stuck talking about the same things, and will be able to keep the conversation light. You’ll also have more to talk about when you don’t text every day and can catch her up on what you were up to the last few days.

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5. Keep your texts a good length

5. Keep your texts a good length

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When you’re texting a girl you like, you’ll want to be mindful of how often you text her, and how long your text messages are. Don’t send lengthy messages that will take her a long time to read as they'll make you look a bit needy.


Instead, match your text length to hers and keep things in a similar length range to avoid looking too clingy or interested. If she’s sending longer messages, you can do the same, especially if that’s how she likes to text but make sure you’re not the one who’s sending long messages first.


The right person will match the way she texts, and since most guys send multiple texts or take too long to text back, you'll set yourself apart from the rest of the competition.

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6. Ask questions

6. Ask questions

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You don’t want to send boring replies that don’t ask any questions, as this will quickly lead to the end of a conversation you might not be able to revive. Send her text messages that ask questions about her day, herself, or about whatever you’re talking about to keep things engaging and interesting. 

It’s essential you ask just the right amount of questions in your text messages. Constantly bombarding her with questions will be too overwhelming and will feel more like an interrogation than a casual conversation.


Think about how you would talk to her in person and text the same way. This is a great approach when you’re not sure what to talk about next or want to keep the conversation going. 

Feel like your conversations lack depth?

With our analysis of thousands of profiles, we'll tailor your texting for maximum engagement and craft the perfect responses.

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7. Know when to lead

7. Know when to lead

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If the girl you’re talking to is shy in person or through text, you may need to lead the conversation and guide where it goes. You can do this by starting off a conversation and bringing up an interesting topic, or by talking about your day and what’s new. Then, you can ask her a few questions to lead her in the conversation.

Sometimes, it’s good to let her guide the conversation by giving her space to talk about what she wants to talk about. This way, you can follow the lead of the chat and ask questions that interest her. You’ll know which approach to use by gaging the girl you’re talking to.


If she’s extroverted and likes to talk, let her guide the conversation. If she’s shy, quiet, and isn’t always sure what to say— stay confident and lead the conversation. 

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Conclusion

Now that you know how to keep things light and show off your confidence without appearing too needy, you'll be able to keep girls interested in you and will be a step closer to landing a relationship with someone you like.

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Ben ROAST

Ben Bailey

Ben is one of the best Dating Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of online dating. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 20M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!

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