“Hey” is not much to work with, but it is also not a disaster. Your reply depends on what you want: keep the conversation going, make it playful, test their effort, or end it without drama.
TIME’s dating-app messaging guide quotes dating experts who recommend avoiding one-word openers because they make the other person do all the conversational work. If someone sends you “hey,” your best response either gives the chat a clear path or shows that you are not going to carry the whole thing alone.
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1. If You Want to Continue, Add a Question
The simplest move is to answer warmly and add a question that is easy to answer. Do not overthink it.
- “Hey! How’s your day going?”
- “Hey, what are you up to tonight?”
- “Hey :) quick question: coffee, drinks, or a walk for a first date?”
- “Hey! What’s been the best part of your week so far?”
2. If You Want to Raise the Energy, Be Playful
A playful response can turn a low-effort opener into a better exchange, but keep it light. The goal is to invite more effort, not punish them for starting simply.
- “Hey is a solid opening bid. Want to upgrade it with a fun fact?”
- “Hey back. I’ll give that opener a 6/10 if you answer one question.”
- “Hey! Are we starting mysterious or just easing in?”
- “Hey stranger. What’s your most defensible unpopular opinion?”
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3. If You Met on a Dating App, Use Their Profile
The best way to avoid a dead-end “hey” chain is to bring in a profile detail. TinderProfile.ai’s response guide gives this same broad advice: use something from their photos, bio, or interests instead of sending another generic greeting.
- “Hey! Your hiking photo looks like a story. Local trail or travel?”
- “Hey, I saw you’re into ramen. Best spot in the city?”
- “Hey :) your dog looks like the boss. Accurate?”
- “Hey! You mentioned live music. Last good show?”
4. If You Are Busy, Reply Without Starting a Long Chat
You can be warm without being instantly available. That is useful when you want to reply but do not have time for a full conversation.
- “Hey! In the middle of something, but I’ll reply properly later.”
- “Hey, good to hear from you. Busy day, but how’s yours going?”
- “Hey :) I’m about to head out, but tell me one good thing from today.”
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5. If You Are Unsure, Test for Effort
If their opener is low-effort and you are not sure you want to carry the chat, ask one simple question. Their answer tells you a lot.
- “Hey. What made you message?”
- “Hey, what caught your eye?”
- “Hey! Give me one thing I should know about you.”
If they answer with another one-word reply, you have your signal. You do not need to rescue every conversation.
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6. If You Do Not Want to Continue, Keep It Brief
SocialSelf notes that you can choose not to respond, especially if you are not interested or have a pattern of low-effort messages. If you do reply, keep it short and respectful.
- “Hey, I don’t think we’re a match, but I wish you the best.”
- “Thanks for reaching out. I’m going to pass, but take care.”
- “Hey, I’m not feeling the connection, but good luck out there.”
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7. Avoid These Replies to “Hey”
- Only replying “hey” if you actually want the conversation to move forward.
- A long emotional message when the other person gave you one word.
- Sarcasm that sounds bitter instead of playful.
- A sexual response if there is no clear shared tone yet.
- A guilt trip like “Is that all you can say?”
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I reply when someone says “hey”?
If you are interested, reply warmly and add a simple question: “Hey! How’s your day going?” or “Hey, what are you up to this week?”
How do you flirt in response to “hey”?
Keep it light: “Hey :) are we starting mysterious or just easing in?” or “Hey back. Want to make this opener more interesting?”
Is it rude not to respond to “hey”?
No. If you are not interested or the conversation has a pattern of low effort, you do not owe a reply. A brief polite pass is also fine.
What if someone only keeps saying “hey”?
Ask one direct question. If they still give no effort, let the conversation go. You do not have to carry both sides.
Should I say “hey” back?
You can, but it usually keeps the conversation flat. Add a question or a profile detail if you want the chat to go somewhere.
Next, sharpen the rest of your profile with How to respond to hey on Tinder, How to respond to whats up, Best Tinder openers, Best Answers to Hey on Dating Apps, How to Respond to WSG, and Women Shit Test.
