How to Tell Someone You Like Them Over Text

You've been talking to people your whole life — do you really need advice on how to start a conversation?

As silly as it might sound (or feel) having feelings for someone changes everything. What might normally be a causal text message about weekend plans suddenly feels like the most important thing you'll say all week. It's easy to get so stuck in indecision that you don't say anything at all. And that definitely won't get the results you're looking for.

So how do you start a conversation with someone you have a crush on, or someone you're interested in?

For starters, try to treat them like any other friend. Remember that they don't know you're feeling nervous, and they aren't reading between the lines of your message. So just act naturally and try to have a casual conversation.

If that still sounds impossible, we've got some examples to help you out:

Ask a question

The easiest way to start a conversation is by asking a question. You might be surprised how easily things start to flow once you break the ice.

Think about what you and your crush have in common and use that information to decide what to ask. The question could be as simple as asking what they did over the weekend to asking for advice. Just keep in mind that you want a topic that will allow for several messages, not something that can be a one-word answer.

For example:

"I was impressed by how chill your dog was at the party last weekend! How did you train him?"

"I saw online that you liked reading true crime novels, could you give me some suggestions?"

People love to feel smart and helpful, so asking for advice can be a great place to start. Just make sure that you're keeping the topics light and fun.

Share something in response

Conversations need to be two-sided — so don't let your question asking come off sounding like an interview or a test.

However they answer your question, share something relevant in response. Try to give enough detail that there's something for them to latch onto for their own response.

It's also helpful to have a backup plan — if they don't dive in to continue the conversation based on what you've said, ask a follow-up question.

For example:

You*: "I saw online that you liked reading true crime novels, could you give me some suggestions?"*

Them*: "Absolutely! I just finished reading The Devil in the White City and I loved it."*

You*: "Good to know! I've heard that's a great book and I've always been curious about H.H. Holmes. Plus, I'm planning to visit Chicago this summer, so it would be the perfect book to bring with me.*

In this example, your text gives them at least two things they could latch onto for a response — talking more about H.H. Holmes (the subject of the book they just read) or talking about Chicago.

Wait for a little while so they have a chance to respond. Ideally, you want them to take a turn speaking up. But if nothing comes through in a few minutes, it's okay to send a follow-up text. (Read more below about double-texting.)

If they haven't answered, try asking another question.

You*: "Do you prefer historical novels or do you read modern stories, too?"*

You're still giving them a chance to talk about themselves and their interests, making it easy for them to respond.

Give them a compliment

Another great conversation starter is to give someone a compliment. Everyone likes a little flattery now and then, as long as you don't come on too strong.

Need an example? Here are some things to try:

"You were amazing at karaoke last weekend!"

"I was so impressed with your speech!"

Or try a compliment that's a little more flirtatious:

"Your new haircut looks great, the bangs really bring attention to your eyes."

Keep things playful with emojis and GIFs

Nothing breaks the tension in online conversations quite like a funny meme. As we know, making a girl laugh will keep her interested in the conversation.

If you message your crush and don't hear back from them, it can be tricky to know what to do next. Luckily, there's a GIF for every occasion. Drop something silly into the thread and you might be surprised at what can happen.

Simply showing that you aren't taking the conversation too seriously, or that you're not waiting for them to answer, can take a lot of the pressure off.

Keep in mind what they're into and what you have in common and aim for GIFs that are relevant to your shared interests.

Okay, so you've sent a message and they've sent a message back. What's next?

If it feels like there's chemistry, and there's been some flirting, it might be the right moment to admit how you feel or even suggest a date.

Keep it short

This isn't Shakespeare, so avoid the monologue. Think of a simple comeback through a text.

The first time you tell someone you like them you don't want to set the stakes too high. Try something simple like:

"You're funny! Our conversations always crack me up. I'd love to hang out sometime."

"I always enjoy talking about movies with you — would you like to see a movie together sometime?"

Make it funny

Making someone laugh is a great way to get a date. And a lighthearted message is also a good bet if you're not sure whether the other person feels the same way.

Try sharing your feelings in a way that would be easy to laugh off if their answer isn't what you hope for.

"My dog has a crush on you and would really love some belly rubs — he asked me to have you come over."

Be direct

If you take advice from a dating coach, they'll tell you to be direct. Sometimes the best way to tell someone you like them is to... tell them you like them.

"Hey, just wanted to say I like you."

Maybe that seems too simple but just imagine how you'd feel if your crush said that same sentence to you. Yep — you'd get those butterflies we talked about before. If both people feel the same way you don't need to write a romance novel to get results, you just need to be direct.

Want to know how to ask a girl out on Tinder? Read this article to find out.

While it might seem obvious, part of doing things right is to avoid doing them wrong. And when emotions are running high, it's especially easy to make a mistake before you even realize what happened.

That's why planning in advance is such an important thing. If you think about these guidelines now it'll be easier to keep your cool and respond in a way you can feel proud of, no matter what happens.

A wall of text or a feelings dump

When you finally share how you're feeling you might be tempted to overshare. Remember, while honesty is good, you don't want to rush things.

It can be such a relief to open up about how you're feeling that sometimes the words just come pouring out. It's a common mistake, but it can easily overwhelm your crush. Instead, try to talk to a friend about how you're feeling first, so you can get it out of your system first. That way it'll be easier to play it cool when you're having a conversation with your crush.

If there's no one else you feel like you can talk to, try writing your feelings down. Simply using a diary or journal can do wonders for working through your feelings and can also be a good way to try out different things you want to say the next time you're texting.

Too many texts at once

A double text isn't always a bad thing, but you do want to take it easy. If the whole screen fills up with texts you've sent and you're not getting any answers, it might be time to let it go.

Take a break and give the other person a chance to respond. Sometimes people get busy and you don't want them to freak out when they check their phone and see how many messages you've sent.

Just slow down and wait for them to answer your messages. If you don't hear back in a day or two it's okay to check in, just try to keep things light and playful, rather than demanding to know why it took them so long to get back to you.

A bad reaction if they're not interested

No one likes rejection. But it's a bad idea to lose your cool and freak out about it.

Maybe this just isn't the right moment for you and your crush to become more than friends. If you blow up at them that might be the end of the friendship, too.

Like we mentioned above, turn to a friend or a journal to vent your frustrations. And keep your feelings under control if you find out your crush's feelings aren't the same or that they don't want a relationship.