So much online dating energy is spent trying to get a first date, you might find yourself wondering, what's next? After you've gone on a first date, how do you turn that into a second date, and the next date after that?
One of the first steps is to send a follow-up text to let them know you had a great time, and that you'd like to see them again. Ultimately, the goal is to initiate a fun conversation and make it clear that the first date was just the beginning of the fun you can have together, and that there are many more dates in your future.
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No matter how well a first date goes, everyone feels a little insecure until they know if the other person is on the same page.
One of the best ways to cap off a successful first date is by sending the right text message. That way you can put each other's minds at ease, knowing that there's mutual interest and this might be the beginning of a budding relationship.
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The timing of the first date follow-up text is hotly debated — but ultimately, you need to trust your gut. Don't worry about who messages first, just trust your instinct.
If the date went so well that you've got a spring in your step all the way home, and maybe you're even whistling a happy tune, then texting right away to say, "Hope you got home safely!" might be a good fit.
In most cases, you're better off waiting until the next day.
Remember that it's more important to trust your gut and do what feels natural than to fall into the trap of playing games. There's no perfect amount of time to wait before sending text messages, and if the other person feels the same way the timing won't matter very much. Just don't send "hey", people never know how to respond to hey.
Generally speaking, being honest is the way to go.
If you find yourself thinking about what a great date you had, say so, "Just thinking about all the fun we had last night — I'd love to do it again sometime!"
Another good bet is to remember what your date talked about and start text conversations about your common interests.
You could even follow it up with just a simple good morning text.
Texting after a first date is similar to sending a first message on dating apps: it's important to show that you're paying attention. An initial text that references something you talked about is always going to be more effective at keeping the conversation flowing than following just strictly following rules from a supposed relationship expert. Just don't go the sad route and do some dry texting.
Need more ideas about what to say? Here are some text ideas for after you've gotten the girl's number:
"I wasn't kidding when I promised to cook for you, are you free this weekend?"
"I know it's a month away, but would you like to attend [X event] with me?"
"Best date. 5/5 stars. Would recommend."
"Want to check out that retro arcade we talked about?
"Hey, I was just thinking of you. How's your day going?
"I'm still laughing about that impression you did. I look forward to seeing it again!"
"Your story is so interesting, I'd love to hear more about your time in [X]."
"I could have talked all night. I want to hear more about your job."
"How many hours was I supposed to wait before texting? Am I doing this wrong?
"Last night went so well we should start our own dating podcast."
"Did that date happen or did I just wake up from the best dream?"
"I know you've got a busy schedule — maybe we can facetime or Netflix party before the next time we synch up?
Feeling lost for words? Use a funny GIF or a meme related to something you talked about to help start a conversation.
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Being sincere is far more important than trying to play hard to get, or strictly following rules about a certain amount of time you're supposed to wait before sending a text.
The best relationship advice is to pay attention to the person in front of you, spend time getting to know them, and show that you're genuinely interested.
If you paid attention to what they said the night before, it should be easy to get the ball rolling on a back and forth text exchange that will last until your second date.
Remember, once you've had one date, it's a lot easier to get a second date than it is to get another first date with someone new. So take the time to text after the first date and let things flow naturally from there.
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Ben is one of the best Tinder Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of Tinder. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 1M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!